Lyrics

White Dots ( 2018 Sib Records)

Taster lyrics coming soon

 

Lemon (Copyright 2008 Sib Records)

I’ve been a bitch today,
took it all out on you
in my usual way.
I took each word you said,
each thing you did
and twisted it
to my peculiar way
of pushing you far away.

Rolled up in a ball,
hating it all
face to the wall,
don’t look at me.
Don’t understand.
Don’t hold out your hand.
How can I say
at the end of today
I love you?

Here we go again,
at least you can call me dependable.
Count on me to tear it apart,
put it all down.
throw it all back in your face.
And your heart.

Rolled up in a ball,
hating it all,
face to the wall,
don’t look at me.
Don’t understand.
Don’t hold out your hand.
How can I say
at the end of today?
After this day?
How can I say
at the end of today
I love you?
A slice of dusty land,
houses costing millions,
fences all around.
Men in uniform
to keep out those not rich enough,
don’t drive cars big enough,
to keep out those
not white enough.

Learn enough words
to get what you need,
just enough to get a good deal,
no one can take you for a ride.
You don’t want them getting too close,
you don’t know what these people, these people are like,
only mix with your own.

And I hear you say,
” Well, take a look at what is happening at home.
It’s rare to hear English spoken on the street. “
And I hear you say,
” Why should we open our doors to very soul that comes begging?
We’ve come to the sun to get away from all that, thank you.”

You’ve come to the sun
to get away from all that.
You’re buying the sun
to get away from all that.

Out here on the balcony
watching this toy town
go right up in front of me,
get me out of here.
Out here on the balcony
people talking money
but not to me.
I don’t belong
here.

Beautiful boys are told to work all day
build bigger, build better,
that’s the way.
Brown arms and backs reach up to the sky,
pile the bricks up, way up high
to put in a window right at the top
so the lady can tell you back down in the shop,
” No one can see the sea better than you.
Exclusively yours, a room with a view!”

Out here on the balcony,
watching this toy town
go right up in front of me,
get me out of here.
Out here on the balcony
people talking money
but not to me.
I don’t belong
here.
The leaves on the trees
blew away long ago.
Polite guests,
they always know when to go.
There’s frost on the ground
and the grass makes a sound
like the icing that breaks
when you cut christmas cake.
It’s the end of the year
but there’s not that much cheer
around here.

Walking through fields
the mud sticks to my heels
and I’m praying that dog,
who I’m told’s only playing,
won’t jump up and leave
his saliva on my sleeve
to dry like the tears
of my own sticky fears.
It’s the end of the year
but there’s not that much cheer
around here.

It’s the end of December.
I’ve no idea
where we go from here
but the evenings
are getting brighter
each day.

Ladadadada.
I’m not lonely.
I’d just forgotten my own name.

In this strange place
I look in the mirror
I don’t recognise my face.
In this strange place
I’ve been looking for something
I might recognise.

Don’t get me wrong
I wish you well
there is a place for everyone
but anyone can see
I don’t belong
and so I’m
leaving today.

Hey, hey hey,
oh, oh, oh,
you won’t miss me
because you never knew me.
I’m not lonely
I’d just forgotten my own name.
In this strange place
everything I believed in
thrown back into my face.
In this strange place
I’ve been living inside myself,
perfect disguise.
But this is wrong,
this will never be my song.
Any fool could see
I don’t belong
and so I’m
leaving today.

Hey, hey hey,
oh, oh, oh,
you won’t miss me
because you never knew me
in this strange place.
The wind is howling,
the trees are cowering,
there’s no chance of working today.
Outside the door
it’s minus four,
I think we should stay home today.

Falling,
snow’s falling.

Could this be good?
Could this be everything that it should?
Could this be good?
Could this be
everything?

Spring’s still sleeping,
summer’s keeping
its secrets all locked away
but there’s wood indoors
to last till it thaws
there’s no more to do now
but wait.

Falling,
snow’s falling.

Could this be good?
Could this be everything that it should?
Could this be good?
Could this be
everything?
I watch you watching me.
I watch you look me up and down.
Do you think that I don't see?
Do you think that I don't see your frown?

Is my hair out of place?
Is there food on my face?
Do my clothes not quite fit?
Did I walk in some shit?
Do I not look like you?

God forbid
I should try to live,
I should try the best for my kids.
God forbid
I should want more
than what I had before

My kids go to the school
where your kids make up all the rules.
They've learnt their lesson well:
keep your head down,
never tell
when they stand on your lace,
when they spit in your face,
when they steal off of you,
in the dinner queue,
when they don't want you.

God forbid
I should try to live,
I should try the best for my kids.
God forbid
I should want more
than what I had before,
that I might be
free.
That I might be
me.

Here's the church,
here's the steeple.
Open the door,
there's the right kind
of people.
Are you hung over too?
Should we talk over
the things we said before today?
I didn't sleep, did you?
I didn't know what to do
at four this morning.

Do you want tea?
Or do you want lemon?
It's almost eleven,
we shouldn't waste the day.

I'm too tired
to throw this blame around
and watch it bounce around
off the wall.
I can't fight you anymore.
I either stay
or walk away.

How bad does it have to be
before you see
what's really going on here?
I don't know the reason why
love becomes a convenient lie.

I'm too tired
to throw this blame around
and watch it bounce around
off the wall.
I can't fight you anymore.
I either stay
or walk away.
Outside this window’s the street where I’ve always lived,
not many faces now I know.
The sun is shining
but I’m not going outside,
the garden reminds me of Freddy.

And the flowers make me cry.
I remember how he tried
to make them bloom beautiful for me.
And the wind sounds like a sigh
when it sets the leaves of the laburnum tree
to flight.

I’m getting up much later than before,
sometimes I don’t dress.
Not like my Freddy,
breakfast at 8, dinner at 12, tea at 5,
a little something nice at 9.

Oh my friends are very kind,
we always drink red wine
when they take me
out to lunch at the club.
They tell me,
“Eve, you know it’s time.
Eve, you’ve got to fight for this life,
for a little peace of mind.”

I mustn’t take up more of your time,
you’re very busy, so very busy, I know.
Before you go, could you help me dear?
I can’t do things like I used to.
I mustn’t take up more of your time,
you’re very busy, so very busy.
It isn’t like me talking like this,
you’re very busy, so very busy.
I know.
The big clock in the bank
ticks emphatically.
The lunchtime office queue
tuts impatiently
at the small grey head by the counter.
She says, “Can you help me dear?”
She says, “Can you help me?”

She takes out a handful of money,
pays it in, with a week’s worth of worry,
to be smoothed out
with the queen’s head
facing up.

Leaning on his steering wheel
the driver sighs
and schoolkids’ laughter helterskelters
down the aisle
while a weathered hand fumbles for her bus pass.
She says, ‘Can you help me dear?”
She says, “Can you help me?

These dark nights take me by surprise,
I’m usually home before five.”
She tries to peer through the dirty window,
is she going the right way?

Darned cardigan pockets.
Empty shopping bags.
I don’t know what is happening here,
strange words and strange tears
in the air.
I don’t recognise the eyes,
I don’t recognise the icy stare.
Who would would ever know,
who’d ever guess that love ever
lived there?

Because everything that I do
is the wrong thing for you
and everything that I say
you take it the wrong way.

Don’t you think I should go?
Don’t you think I should leave
rather than do,
we shouldn’t do
this?

I’m not talking to you
but the silence in the air
is a scream of accusation taking place.
I’m not coming near you
but each movement that you make
tingles like a slap across the face.
I can stay out all day long,

I know how to get along
perfectly well on my own.
I don’t know how to make this right
but I know how to fight
more than you know.

Because everything that I do
is the wrong thing for you
and everything that I say
you take it the wrong way.

Don’t you think I should go?
Don’t you think I should leave
rather than do
we shouldn’t do
this?
Everybody’s out for what they can get.
Call me naïve but I did not know
there were so many cowboys.
Funny how there are no cowgirls.

There’s a man in hotel room
counting all of his money.
His wife sits out on the balcony
looking at a blue sea
underneath a blue sky.
Back home in the rain
everybody shakes their head,
picking on the bones of promises,
the things he said.
“He got away with it”.

The line between good and bad
got thinner today.
The space between us and the crooks
got smaller today.
“He got away with it”.

Everybody’s out for what they can get.
Call me naïve but I did not know
there were so many cowboys.
Funny how there are no cowgirls.

They’re chasing through the countryside,
an army of white vans,
white knuckles grip the steering wheel,
they’re taking what they can.
They’re gonna get what they can,
they’re gonna…..

Hey Mr. soul-taker,
Mr. lie-maker,
Mr. arse-breaker,
Mr. fat-face faker,
you got it so wrong.
You got it so wrong.

Everybody’s out for what they can get.
Call me naïve but I did not know
there were so many cowboys.
Funny how there are no cowgirls.
The turquoise walls,
through the rectangular opening
of the half shuttered window,
still look bright
beneath the grey sky.

Spectacular birdsong.

The early evening news
rests on the air easy,
like the couples sitting back
in their chairs on the street,
watching each car coming back from the city.
Colour, intrusion and speed
are temporary.

And the church bells call the ladies to mass,
widowed wise
in widowed black,
with ‘ ave, ave, ave maria ‘.

Sitting at the table
writing, reeling,
constructing comfort and meaning
from this getting away from it all.
And you’re lying on the bed
in the bedroom next door reading.

There’s not a chance in hell
we’re going to tell each other
what we’re feeling.

The church bells call the ladies to mass,
widowed wise
in widowed black,
with ‘ ave, ave, ave maria ‘.

 

Staring (Copyright 2003 Sib Records)

Excuse me if I don’t stay,
if I walk away for a little while
because the things I hear you say,
they make me want to cry.
If you knew the people that I do,
you’d see they make the world
a better place to be.
They make a beauty
That you’ll never see.

They’re not beautiful to you.
they don’t look the way you do,
they don’t talk the way you do.
They’ll never fit into
the picture you’re buying into,
the lies you’re reading
and believing.

I’d better walk away
because if I stay
I’ll say things I won’t regret,
I’ll say things you won’t forget.
I’d better walk away.
Staring at you,
totally amazing.
Staring at you
jumping your way to the front of the queue,
clambering high to that pile in the sky.
With a glint in your eye
swat like a fly
the fools that are kind,
the shy who will never shine.

I bet doubt won’t ever stir your sleep
With its boots steel capped with can I?s or shall I?s
Kicking in the dreams of those who were never told
that they could or they should,
those that might be
better than you
in everything you do.
Better than you
in everything you.
But they’re never going to make it
like you.

Staring at you,
totally amazing.
Staring at you
talk of yourself
without pausing for breath.
Assured, believing, they’re needing to hear
the details of victory,
the spoils of the scene,
from your world of the grasping, aspiring and mean.

She’s not your friend,
Just a face for to talk at,
to make the right noises in the gaps in between.
You wake up fresh, no sweat
from daybreak fear of the fight.
Just a narrow-eyed, determined stride
past those who might be
better than you
in everything you do.
Better than you
in everything you.
But they’re never going to make it
like you.

Who told you
you were more beautiful
than all the rest who might be?
Who told you
you were more wonderful
than all the rest who might be
better than you
in everything you do?
Better than you
in everything you.
But they’re never going to make it
like you.
Time passes so slowly
on a Sunday afternoon
when your mother’s too busy for you
and your sister is on the phone.
And it’s not the weekend for seeing your dad
and you’re bored with all your friends,
so you watch TV, read your magazine,
look inside the fridge for something to eat.

But there’s a wind blowing in from the west side,
yes there’s a wind blowing in,
and it’s bringing all the good things
that are coming soon
to you.

Staring out of the window
at the cat on the lawn below,
the wind blowing in lifts the hair from your face
you’ve no idea is beautiful.
And you lie on the bed in the room
where you spend maybe far too much time
on your own
dreaming of how it’s going to be
when you’re finally grown.

But there’s a wind blowing in from the west side,
yes there’s a wind blowing in,
and it’s bringing all the good things
that are coming soon
to you.
What you up to today? What you doin’?
Don’t tell me you’re looking for a job.
What you up to today? What you doin’?
Don’t make me laugh, mug’s game.
Got enough tins to take the edge off the day,
got enough weed to blow what’s left of it away.

Hey, wot d’yer say?
I could come over, wot d’yer say?
I could come over later today. I could come over.

We could find a car, make it take us fast, make it take us far.
With the window down we could leave this town with the music loud,
going for the buzz with the bass pumping
in your gut,
going for the high in the back with your eyes
tight shut.

What d’yer mean you want something better?
This is it for lads like you and me.
What d’yer mean you want something better?
Did they teach you that at school? Losers.

Got enough tins to take the edge off the day,
got enough weed to blow what’s left of it away.
Hey, wot d’yer say?
I could come over…

Listen to me man, don’t be a fool.
What has anybody ever done for you?
Taking what you want is the only way to be
coz no one gives a toss about you and me.
Stick with me kid, I’ll see you right.
Stick with me kid, you’ll be find.

I could come over…
All I want is to feel fine when the sun shines.
All I need is not to feel alone when the moon glows.
Just to get going on the road with not too heavy a load.

Moaning, moaning every Monday, what’s going to happen by next Sunday?
I dunno.
May I, may I
turn away from the shadows that lie
beside me.

All I want is a happy heart in the morning
and I all I need is knowing where to start by the evening.
I’m not talking about perfection, just a little direction
for making the wrong right.

Moaning, moaning every Monday, what’s going to happen by next Sunday?
I dunno.
May I, may I
turn away from the shadows that lie
beside me.

Give me the strength to choose, even if I lose,
when to stay or walk away.
May I, may I
turn away from the shadows that lie
beside me.
Hanging round on the corner. Hair scraped back,
regimentally clenched in a bobble blue – or is it black?
Ghastly pale.
That doesn’t come from just a lack of sun.
Eyes wide.
Waiting.

Folding their arms across their chest,
her friends dish out the latest.
She stifles a yawn.
Stares at her feet.
Craving something sweet,
skinny white girl.

Watching you as you walk out your door.
Watching you as you get in your car.
Watching you as you as you drive away.
Watching you because there’s nothing else to do.

On each pavement she knows every crack.
She counts each step there and each step back.
Runs her fingers along every wall.
Turns the corner where she once had a fall.
She walks quickly past the gang at the end.
If they say something, then she’ll just pretend
she can’t hear them.

Watching you as you walk out your door.
Watching you as you get in your car.
Watching you as you as you drive away.
Watching you because there’s nothing else to do.
Leanne hides her head in her jumper when she’s sad
and won’t come out for anyone.
Cross-legged on the floor, the other children stare
but she doesn’t see so she doesn’t care.
Playing with her headband, chewing on her sleeve,
she’s in a place nobody knows.
When she smiles her tiny frames bubbles like fizzy wine
underneath her fringe two blue eyes shine.

Leanne,
whatever happens you to you,
I wish only joy for you.

The children splash around in the swimming pool
but she’s too scared to move.
Leanne clings to the side like a bird that hasn’t learnt to fly.
Feeling brave at break she hits out at some child who’s come to say hello,
“You’re not going to pick on me”, she says.
Sitting on a wooden bench, scratching patterns in the fence,
she holds on tightly to her stone,
waiting for the bell to go.

Leanne,
whatever happens you to you,
I wish only joy for you.

And when a big boy’s cruel words sting you,
you come running, can’t speak for crying,
totally believing
I can make it better.

Leanne,
whatever happens you to you,
I wish only joy for you.
Tide so sure pulling me in
and so it begins.
Afraid to put a name to something new,
this something new.

I don’t recognise the me that he sees,
I thought she’s disappeared long ago.
Well-worn words are undiscovered worlds.
The long-rehearsed embrace is a very different place.

Oh, my love takes the gifts that I’d bought, wrapped and kissed
from the hands that let them fall.
He mends the cracks and the chips,
even the smashed to bits.
Oh, my love washes me clean.

Stronger than solitude,
stronger than fear,
those old demons whispering in my ear.
It carries me so tenderly till I shriek with delight.
I watch the lips that call to me,
I watch the arms reaching out to me,
I watch and wait for it all to slip away.
“I wouldn’t let you down”, he says.

Oh, my love takes the gifts that I’d bought, wrapped and kissed
from the hands that let them fall.
He mends the cracks and the chips,
even the smashed to bits.
Oh, my love washes me clean.
I don’t remember how I got so scared,
I don’t remember how I grew so small
but on Saturday night I laughed
like I’d just remembered who I was.

Follow your heart, they say, follow your heart,
yet sometimes that feels so hard.
But until I do nothing means a thing at all.
And I know I’ve been blind,
I’ve been so unkind
but I’m trying to get through to something.

And maybe you want me too much?

I don’t remember turning into what you see.
I don’t remember when I stopped feeling free
but on Saturday night I laughed
like I’d just remembered what it’s like to be me.

Follow your dreams, they say, follow your dreams,
yet sometimes I get so tired.
But until I try everything’s a very clever lie.
And I know I’ve been blind,
I’ve been so unkind
but I’m trying to get through to something.

And maybe you want me too much?
The wind picked up by the afternoon,
urging the lazy lapping to kick up its petticoats,
cancan its way to a grand finale,
eye-squinting spectacle floodlit by the sun
just for us
and a small boy watching.
Just for us
and a small boy dreaming.

You were never quite as beautiful
(blow it away)
as you you are today
(blow the rest of the world away just for a day)
as our love is today
(blow it away)
you were never quite so beautiful.
Let me keep this feeling
just for a day.

Our seasoned skin drank in the heat
like the bleached wood soft beneath our feet,
cracked in crystal lines creaking underneath the strain
of the raging dance of wind and waves heels held high
just for us
and a small boy watching.
Just for us
and a small boy dreaming.

You were never quite as beautiful
(blow it away)
as you you are today
(blow the rest of the world away just for a day)
as our love is today
(blow it away)
you were never quite so beautiful.
Let me keep this feeling
just for a day.

The restaurant will do no business today,
the people have retreated to their safely packaged fun.
And the boys who serve them stare out
from under the vines that hang
over the empty tables.
Stepping off the tram the rain started to fall,
still light.
Empty time between the shoppers gone
and the clubbers not yet come.
The only people on the street
are those you’re never going to meet
on the way home.
They’re still hanging around,
waiting for the night.

Faces hardened by these streets,
toughened skin and reddened cheeks
from the wind and the drink
that draws its time around the eyes.
Between gulps they’re spitting fury
at themselves,
at the luxury apartments above the doorways
they’re hanging around
waiting for the night,
with the empty polystyrene cartons,
crumpled cans of beer,
fag packets gaping open like an uneventful year.

Your love is all I have
when the night comes too close.

Pumping out the tunes,
the bars open their doors, draw you in
past the bouncers sipping steaming tea,
laughing and chatting.
But the muscles in their long black coats
tingle from their afternoon workout.Ready.
Patiently hanging around,
waiting for the night.

Narrow street choked with smoke,
buses just a dirty joke
for people who’ll never travel any other way.
Do you think they know
that this is trendy authenticity?
In fact the very place to be
hanging around,
waiting for the night
with the empty polystyrene cartons,
crumpled cans of beer,
fag packets gaping open like an uneventful year?

Your love is all I have
when the night comes too close.

Giddy from the music or maybe just the beer,
looking for a taxi home.
There’s a fight between a white boy and a black boy
and a girl has collapsed on the ground,
screaming at the night
turned ugly with the drink.
I finally get home,
slip into our bed
to feel the warmth of your sleep.

Your love is all I have
when the night comes too close.
Turn the music up.
Tell the DJ to play it loud
to an incredible crowd.
Dance it hard,
keep it tight every night.

That is the way
she’ll stay
forever.

Smile, shine.
Make sure you mean it
every time.
Sing it true
like you know you can do.

That is the way
she’ll stay
forever.

Don’t let anybody tell you,
you can’t be the thing
you know that you have got to be.
And don’t let anybody tell you,
you can’t make the life
you know that you’re supposed to live.

That is the way
she’ll stay
forever.
I can hear the birds singing
down the phone
when you call me
to tell me everything is going so well
and to tell me
all the things we could do.
“The air is so clear,
it could be so wonderful here.
A truly new start,
if you’d only open your heart”.

This time I’m coming,
I’m through with running,
this time I’m coming too.

I can hear your smile,
you’re lying on the floor when you call me.
Looking at the sky
through the open door
as you tell me
all the things we could do.
“The trees are in bloom
and the sun’s filled the room.
The sky is so blue,
how I wish you were here too”.

This time I’m coming,
I’m through with running,
this time I’m coming too.

 

Find (Copyright 2000 Sib Records)

The light from the lamp
reveals the dust
on the desk
here the piles of paper
lie like a baby
and the bells from the church
caress the air
like the kiss of a butterfly
resting on my cheek.

It’s only six o’clock
and it’s already getting dark.
Only six o’clock.

The wind picking up
blows the dusk
into the arms of the chimes
alive in its breeze
and the boats lying still
in the harbour
sing out to the sea,
“Come on now love, bring us back in”.

The night is drawing in,
its chill is bursting on my skin.
Night is drawing in
on this last Sunday of Summer.

Find the way back home.
Don’t you remember what you came to do?
Find the way back home.
Sister, let me sit close,
let me swim in your voice.
Sister, let me come in
breathe the scent of your skin.
I’ll just sit quietly on the stair,
you won’t even notice me there.
Let me just hear you talk.

Go on, tell your stories,
let them dance in your eyes.
Filled with glorious laughter,
secret surprise.
If I want to, I can join in
or stay a still, silent din.
Either way, it’s ok.

You let me come and go
as I please,
make no demands upon me.
Isn’t that the coolest kind of love?
Hey sister, sister
take this little sister home.

Running round like a mad thing
I forget how to listen,
running crazy in this crazy life,
I forget how to sit still.
But when I stop and listen to you,
there seems nothing more important to do
than this

because you always know
how to listen
and you always find
time to spare
when I blow in bursting hot air,
causing casual mayhem everywhere
in some self-centred despair.

You let me come and go
as I please,
make no demands upon me.
Isn’t that the coolest kind of love?
Hey sister, sister
take this little sister home.
A prostitute sunbathes by the pool
while her client sits beside her
flicking through a porno magazine
and a little brown girl
talks to herself in the shallow end
in a rubber ringed magic kingdom.

“Life’s too hard, too fucking hard!”
I cried out in my sleep.
And in my dream you handed me
a mug of steaming tea.

Cacophony of crude cicadas,
bougainvillea blooms in pink
on white-washed walls,
slices of ice beneath a sapphire sky.
On balconies heavy with jasmine,
old women stare quizzically
at the sunburnt Brits
searching for authenticity.

And Little Miss Big Nipples
is reading The Times
that Daddy somehow managed to find.
Only 23 but she’s doing very well at the BBC.
And Mummy calls out
from the shade of the sun,
“Darling put some suncream on”,
to her son splashing other children.

Cacophony of crude cicadas,
bougainvillea blooms in pink
on white-washed walls,
slices of ice beneath a sapphire sky.
On balconies heavy with jasmine,
old women stare quizzically
at the sunburnt Brits
searching for authenticity.

At the airport time trickles by
in the toilets cleaned
by invisible women,
hoping for some change
from the beautiful ladies in their beautiful clothes,
pretty pink ladies in their beautiful clothes.
I wake up in our bed alone.
You’re sitting downstairs,
drinking coffee and reading.
You’ve been up all night.
You couldn’t sleep after what I said,
You couldn’t sleep after what I did.
Again
I hurt your feelings.

Everything goes so well for a while,
the laughter is strong.
And it feels like
nothing could ever go wrong.

I get up and I come downstairs.
You look up form your book
with eyes that are bleeding,
bruised from the night.
Your words aren’t angry
they’re just painted sad,
asking why I want to make what’s good bad?
You say, “Where is the feeling?”

Everything goes so well for a while,
all that’s good in this world
is in your smile.

I’m trying to love you,
I’m trying to share my life with you,
I’m trying to give,
but you know,
it doesn’t come easy.

I keep making mistakes, I know,
and I keep getting it wrong
but in this dumbed down world
of cheap easy come and easy go,
don’t you think I know
what we’ve got here?

‘m trying to love you,
I’m trying to share my life with you,
I’m trying to give,
but you know,
it doesn’t come easy.